Information does not equal change.
Our beliefs are what shape our reality and our world. Who you are and how you show up in the world is a direct reflection of what you believe about yourself, the world and others. Our identity is in fact shaped by our beliefs.
If we don’t like what we are experiencing, can we change them and shift to a new reality for ourselves?
My answer to that is ABSOLUTELY YES!!!
I am worth whatever I would would like!
Anything is possible for me!
I provide life changing value to my clients!
I am deserving of my fulfilled dreams!
Ok, yes I got it! Pshh...not so fast.
Most of the time it doesn’t work exactly like that and it definitely didn’t for me. I am a self-proclaimed personal growth junkie and I’ve always prided myself on my ability to take action into what I wanted. Even though I did that, I still harbored massive limiting beliefs about my ability to serve, possibility available to me, what I was allowed to have and I never felt quite right or satisfied. I undercharged, felt stressed out over every decision and every possibility was always stifled by not wanting to take up too much of anything because that might mean…..something bad about me. “Don’t you dare ask for more” is what my inner voice would say. Although, soooo much better, I still work on these and find myself bumping up against them when I have a “growth spurt”. THIS is the art of permanent change work. Shifting your beliefs is a necessary piece of changing old behavior and though patterns that keep you stuck.
But they aren’t a light switch. Stretching into a new belief is an experience in and of itself. This is often referred to as showing up outside your comfort zone because that’s what you are doing when you are trying on new beliefs. It’s like seeing life through a new lense.
Can you see how it might be a little challenging to change these? We’re talking about changing pieces of WHO YOU ARE.
We see our desires out in front of us and we imagine how it would feel to experience them. It would feel amazing, fulfilling and empowering. We day dream and see ourselves in a different world we feel we are meant to be in but can’t seem to break out of the reality we are in now and allow it all to happen. The journey of truly changing our beliefs and restructuring our reality is in and of itself a magical process.
But here’s the thing, we can take action all day long and move towards what we’d like WITHOUT shifting our beliefs very much at all. It’s totally possible. Seemingly successful people can move through life with plenty of limiting beliefs.The difference is in what they are experiencing and what they are willing to ask for in the first place. Someone who struggles with self worth is going have a more challenging time asking for their dreams. Trying to accomplish your desires with limiting beliefs intact is like struggling uphill wearing a 100lb. backpack of rocks. As you start to transform your beliefs from being burdens, the rocks fall and lighten your load, you see different paths you couldn’t see before, you notice the sky is full of possibility and you’re not afraid to stop in fear you’ll tip over and roll back down the hill. The journey is completely different.
Be willing to fall in love with the process of moving towards what you want.
It is the best way to fall deeper in love with yourself.
You have to love yourself enough for them to shift.
So yes, you can be sitting in the middle of exactly what you thought you wanted but still not having the feelings that are congruent with someone experiencing their deepest desires. On the surface people can look like they are moving towards their wants but underneath they are still struggling with beliefs that are making them feel disempowered, frustrated and still feel like something is missing. It’s not to say that these experiences are not valuable because they are incredibly valuable. But it’s important to be aware of not only what you are taking action on, but what you are experiencing.
Becoming unstuck is NOT the same as honoring what you truly want and we often find ways to create the illusion of us moving forward when we are not being honest with ourselves about what that is.
Creating these shifts can be quite confronting. If we break down the word be means “make” and lief means “hold dear, love”. Shifting our beliefs is truly shifting what we hold dear in our hearts. Holding deeply on to our beliefs is an act of love and it makes sense it often feels like we are HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE because we in fact are.
Our beliefs dictate our experience and our experiences CONFIRM our beliefs.
Whenever we change something we have believed, we are forced with betraying something or someone we hold dear.
It can be a lot to let go of however in the end it’s bringing us closer to what’s in our hearts.
Funny how that works?
Do you keep experiencing the same unwanted scenarios in your life?
You say yes, I deserve this. Yes, I’m worth it. Yes, I believe in myself. Only to be experiencing something completely different. There’s often an incongruent belief keeping you in the same pattern.
Here’s an example of unwanted states and corresponding beliefs about self and the world. You can take your own challenges or desired states and ask the same questions to start to uncover your own beliefs. Remember knowing them doesn’t necessarily change them but it’s the first step.
· Losing and gaining the same 5-10 lbs over and over again (What does someone have to believe about themselves if they are constantly trying to lose weight?)
· Wanting a sustainable business but treating it like a hobby (What does someone have to believe about themselves to take consistent action that generates clients and income?)
· Saying yes to the wrong things that don’t serve your ultimate goals and vision for your life(What does someone have to believe about the world in order to say NO to things that are not a fit?)
Part of the work I do with my clients is holding the highest version of them selves possible, exploring beliefs and determining when/how they were formed and creating new resources for them. Then taking them into their lives and testing them out on their map to where they want to go. As my clients move forward into places they’ve never been before, their beliefs grow as well. An amazing process!
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Holding you to the absolute HIGHEST version of yourself,